Sorry Zine Fest people.

Hi. You probably got an ALF pog from me at the SF Zine Fest. And maybe you were checking out this link to try and figure out what the heck it had to do with ALF. Well, it doesn’t have a thing to do with ALF. I made those one day after I found a box of blank pogs. It seemed HILARIOUS to me at the time . . . actually it still does. So far I haven’t met anyone yet who doesn’t get the reference (hee hee). Anyways, I made this blog account to give updates on my zine but I’ve been so unproductive lately zine-wise. Cool stuff should be coming in the future! That’s all I’ve got for now. Oh yeah, My zine’s SuperUseless, info about it should be on top of this page somewhere.

 

One Obsessed Otaku!

Two weeks ago, while at work in the library, I came across this manga:

Monster by Naoki Urasawa.
I asked someone at work, who’s even more into anime and manga than I am, if he’d ever read it. He hadn’t but said that he might’ve seen the anime at some point. I took it home and LOVED the first volume. The manga is about a young Japanese doctor, Kenzou Tenma, who is lives and works in Germany. He saves the life of a 10-year old boy who was brought into the emergency room with a gunshot wound to the head. He finds out ten years later that the boy grows up to be a serial killer . . . or in other words, a monster. The doctor is falsely accused of the murders that the boy commits and goes on the run. He goes in search of the boy but uncovers a major conspiracy of disturbing and horrific events along the way. It’s a psychological thriller littered with blood and violence. Good reading, basically.

After reading the first volume I ordered the next seven from work. I read up to vol 8 in a matter of a few days. However, the series contains 18 volumes and the library only carries the 8 volumes. I was totally bummed out. I didn’t want to have to actually buy the remaining volumes. That’s when I remembered the anime!I found all 74 episodes of the anime online. The anime is pretty much scene for scene the manga LUCKY ME! At about episode 36 the story picks up where I left off in the manga. So for the past 2 days I’ve been watching the anime non-stop. Thursday and Friday just happened to be my days off so I watched a whopping 32 episodes in the last 2 days! I think I’m on ep 69 right now and should be finished with the series tonight! Damn, I’m such an otaku-geek! But, I figure I have to wake up early for work tomorrow anyways, so it’s all the better that I just stay in tonight, hee hee. Eeek, I’m so eager to see how this story wraps up.

 

Post. Post. Whatever.

I’m posting today because I realized I haven’t updated this thing in a while. So basically I’m forcing myself to post. Well, I’m trying to think of things to write about here. I guess I’m uninspired . . . or lazy. It’s probably lazy. It’s not that I don’t have things to write about cuz, oh boy, I do. Shit’s been going down, you know. Okay, maybe I’ll start with the most recent stuff first.

Most of you probably don’t know that I work in the library. I’m also a substitute teacher and substitute special education paraprofessional (yeah, mouthful). I don’t teach too often anymore as my patience for subbing is running out, especially when it comes to special ed. Anyways, back to the library. I’ve been working for the library for a year and seven months. I actually love it a lot. The branch where I’ve been working has closed for major renovations so I transferred to the main library downtown. It’s been pretty awesome so far. I’ve also had my leg tattoo worked on recently. I have an in-progress tattoo of a geisha on my right leg. My wonderful tattoo artist is Shannon Archuleta, who is just completely awesome. I think I will do a whole other post about the tattoo later. Maybe I will do a whole other post about the new job site as well. As for right now, I’m sleepy and at my limit as far as uninspired blogging is concerned.

 

Bummed the fuck out . . .

Totally bummed out, for reals. I’ve been stretching my ear lobes for YEARS now. SLOWLY through the years I’ve been trying to get to a 0g. It’s taken me this long because my ass is too broke to buy the jewelry . . . and also, sometimes I forget and leave it at the same gauge for a long time.

So, Saturday night, before bed, I tried stretching my lobes from a 2g to a 1g. I’d just bought these 1g black, handmade, glass spirals that were sooo pretty. They’re really pretty. I lubed them up and tried to slide them into the hole. Of course it was damn hard, and of course it burned. The first one was a bitch to get in. The second one went in easier. I went to bed hoping they’d feel better in the morning. The next morning the right one (the second one–the easy one) was fine and looked great. The left one was red and swollen. I left them alone until today. I noticed this morning that the left one was bleeding and seeping out pus. Shit, a blowout. The only time I had a blowout was at 14g or so, way back when. I didn’t want to lose my stretch so I just left the earring in. But by the afternoon it was unbearable. It was throbbing and had its own freaking heart beat. I had to take it out. It turns out that it wasn’t a blowout, just a tear in the skin. I tried to put the 2g back in but it wouldn’t fit. Now the hole is COMPLETELY closed up. So I have a 1g in one ear and nothing in the other. Sucks.

I’ll give it some time to heal up. I just hope that I don’t have to start at the beginning. I don’t think the 2g will fit. I can live with starting at a 4g BUT right now the hole is completely closed up. I’m not sure what to do with my right ear in the meantime. I have my 1g spiral in and I’m looking a little like a weirdo or pirate . . . or weirdo pirate, because let’s face it, there are no normal pirates. I’m hoping people don’t ask me about why I only have one big earring.

Like I said, I’ve been stretching slowly for years. Each stretch gave me a sense of satisfaction. I knew where I wanted to get to with it. I also can’t believe I’ve kept up with it all these years. But I’m a lifer, you know. Every time my life was at a stalemate, I stretched. They were like markers in my life. Whatever. I’d spent so much money on the jewelry (like titanium plugs and glass spirals) that I’d stay at one gauge for a long time just so I could get the most out of it.

Poo, poo, poo. Fuck, shit, fuck. Oh, and just because life isn’t irritating enough, I think I might be allergic to the red ink in my tattoo. But I’m not going to spazz about that until the tattoo heals and I know for sure.

On a lighter note, I totally saw Lars Frederiksen outside the Warfield after the Dropkick Murphys show Saturday. I was a total spazz pointing at his face going, “Laarrrssss!” Weird thing was, nobody else seemed to notice him. They only noticed me spazzing out. Like my boyfriend who asked, “Why are you pointing at that guy?” “Because it’s Lars Frederiksen, that’s why!” Maybe nobody cares. If I had seen that cunt Tim Armstrong I might not have cared.

I’m also REALLY lame because I didn’t go to the Black Fork/Zero Boys show at Gilman. If anything could’ve brought my 30 year-old ass to Gilman it’d been Black Fork . . . but I guess I’m just too comfortable being at home nowadays. Sigh.

 

Mass consumerism deserves a big FUCK OFF.

I love the holidays. I get to see family members that I only get to see once a year. I get to listen to cheasy Christmas music. I get to watch drunk uncles dance the cha-cha whilst balancing their hair pieces atop their heads. I get to wear my winter jacket and break out my scarves and knit hats.

What I hate is mindless mass consumerism, extreme capitalism, and GIFT CARDS. Oh fuck, how I hate gift cards. I get them every year. And to suckporiums like Macy’s and Gap nonetheless. It’s a lose-lose situation for me and my kin and a win-win situation for the corporations. (Did you know that in 2006 there totaled 8 billion dollars in unclaimed gift cards?)

I hate malls and chain stores anyways but I especially hate them during the holidays. My first job was during X-mas time in the mall. During my breaks I would sit in front of the giant, decorated Christmas tree and fantasize about crashing through the skylight and impaling myself on the star tree-topper. Morbid yes, but it got me through my shifts.

I’m also tired of hearing about the economy and how consumers need to spend more money to boost the economy. Maybe people just don’t need all the crap that they flood the market with. I certainly don’t. That’s the real problem. It’s not that people aren’t spending money because they ain’t got none. It’s that people work hard for their money and know where their priorities are. People shouldn’t be forced into buying frivolous crap as a civic duty; so the economy doesn’t collapse; so someone out there doesn’t lose a job. Whatever quick fixes they come up with is not enough to sustain a stable future. Mass consumerism sucks and I’m not going to buy into it.

Long story short: I’m pledging to buy handmade this holiday season. If I can’t buy it, I’ll make it myself. I’ll try my best to remember everyone this holiday, but If I don’t, I’ll have at least tried. I know even the Handmade Pledge isn’t perfect. I mean, even if I make my own handbag it doesn’t mean that I spun my own fibers, weaved my own textiles, or cast my own metal finishings (like the Amish do!); money and goods will pass numerous hands before I give my final gift. Hey, this world can’t be perfect . . . but it can be better.

 

Updates, I suppose . . .

I haven’t posted in a while. I’m sure this is important for the 2 people who read my blog. (Yes Mae, I mean you! You rawk by the way.) I think I finally have nothing to do today but blog. I’ve been so busy lately. I just got a promotion of sorts at work and transfered to another branch. I finally have benefits and, my god, health insurance. Holy Christ, I haven’t been to the doctors in years. I think my health has gone to shit . . . but finally, finally I don’t have to stress about it. Finally someone considers me a valuable human. Oh about that too, the people from my old branch gave me a going away party at this Burmese restaurant. I started feeling funny halfway through dinner and could hardly make it through the rest. I couldn’t tell any of them that I was sick cuz they’d gone through so much trouble to make the party. I was cold-sweating all the way home and totally vomitted my guts out the minute I got through the door. It was projectile-like.

I’ve also had to deal with a death in my family. My uncle had agressive cancer. He was diagnosed with cancer in February of this year and died 8 months later. There’s been weird shit going on with my parents that I don’t even want to talk about.  Or maybe I can write about it now and delete it later. Doesn’t matter, nobody reads this blog anyways. My mom and my stepdad have been fighting nonstop lately. They should’ve seperated a long time ago–who knows why they din’t. I don’t live with them but my 15 year-old brother does and he kind of tells me what goes on. Basically there’s just a lot of crazy fighting going on, verbally AND physically. God I feel bad for my brother. I remember being 15. Jesus Christ being 15 was hard especially in my family. I was just so hurt and mad at everything. I fucking hated the world. When I was 15, I pretty much stayed out all night going to punk shows and walking circles . But they don’t let my brother go out or do much.

I dunno, other stuff has been going on too. But it just seems like too much effort to organize my thoughts about it into words. Let’s just say that things can only move forward from now on. Yeah, and my fingernail came off. The one that I smashed in the door. The one that everyone said was going to fall off but I was like, no it’s not. I’ve also ditched my Smashed Finger Comics because they look pretty shitty. It’s kind of funny though. I was drawing the characters in the comic with no face because it hurt too much to grip the pen. Anyways, now that things are going back to normal I can start working on my zine and comics again.

Also for some reason I’ve been listening to this song non-stop lately: Descendents – Bikeage . I’ve forgotten how much Descendents rule.

 

Parents read my zine! Aaaagghh!

Saturday afternoon I’m eating a bowl of Pho with my mom and she says, “I read your little book.  It’s good.”  Huh, I said, noodles sliding down my chin.  “The one with the comics.  I showed your stepdad too.”  She was referring to my zine.  Oh horror!  Nobody wants their parents to read their zine.  I didn’t write anything too revealing, but still.

She said she found it in my brother’s school folder.  I had given my 15 year-old brother 2 copies of my zine and told him not to show the parents.  I guess I didn’t really mind if my mom read it but I was worried about my stepdad reading it because he’s pretty strict with my brother and doesn’t want him going down the same punk path that I did (even though he’s “emo”).  I wrote a lot of stuff about being 15 and 16 in there.  I don’t want them to know about stuff that happened to me when I was a teenager.  Eh, at least Mom liked it.  She even volunteered to sell them at work to her coworkers.  “Uh, that’s okay, you don’t have to,” was all I said.  Hopefully my stepdad was too busy to read it through.

Oh, you know what else.  The web address to this blog is on the back cover of the zine.  They could be reading this blog right as we speak.  Yipes!

 

Smashed finger comics.

When I say I smashed my finger in the door, I don’t just mean I just shut the door on it.  It was 4:30 AM when it happened and I was mad sleepy.  I was holding myself up against the wall and didn’t realize that I had my finger in the crack/hinge area of the door (you know the part that’s screwed into the wall by hinges).  I shut the door pretty hard and got my finger stuck in the hinge.  It’s been two days now and I still can’t bend my finger.  It’s hard to grip the pencil but at least I can now.  I was working on some comics but without bending my finger I can’t really control the pencil too well . . . so I had to change directions and draw things with a lot of big round shapes, boxes, and straight lines.  Whatever I could muster with my misshapen claw.  From that, my friends, “Smashed Finger Comics” was born!  I must say though my Smashed Finger Comics is not coming out too bad (it’s set to the tune of Joy Division’s “Shadowplay” by the way):  

The following pic is of the comic I was working on before the smashy-smashy.  Hard to see ’cause it’s in pencil only:  

And for no reason at all I wanted to throw in this pic I took of my window because it looks sad to me for some reason.  The whole damn summer has looked like this pretty much.  I’m not one for hot weather but 365 days of this gray sky gets depressing as hell:

 

Bad Things Happen at the Circus.

This was emailed to me today because I get a lot of spam apparently:

“Win tickets to the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Over The Top circus spectacular. Ringling Bros. and  Barnum & Bailey presents Over The Top, a wacky and whimsical circus spectacular where Ringmaster Chuck  Wagner and clown eccentric Tom Dougherty compete for the control of a magical top hat that brings to life their  fantastical imaginations. Dogs fly, Asian elephants skip, hop, and groove and one courageous man stands eye  to eye with a pack of powerful Bengal tigers . . .”

For some reason I thought circuses weren’t around anymore. I don’t know why I thought that. Bad things happen at circuses man. I don’t need to get into the animal abuse that goes on backstage–anyone on PETA’s mailing list already knows about that. There are also the creepy clowns to contend with. A bunch of men dressed as clowns on the road together, traveling from town to town . . . pretty scary shit if you ask me.

But back to the previous caption. How do they make the dogs fly? When I read that I just thought it can’t be humane. I can hardly get my dog to stay off the couch. I can imagine how much he would hate me if I made him “fly” every night in front of a crowd. On that same note elephants weren’t made to skip and hop–they were made to stomp and stampede and break your shit if you got in their way.

Lastly, circuses always, always, always remind me of that movie Freaks from the 1930’s with the pinheads and that dude who was just a torso. “One of us! One of us!”