Totally bummed out, for reals. I’ve been stretching my ear lobes for YEARS now. SLOWLY through the years I’ve been trying to get to a 0g. It’s taken me this long because my ass is too broke to buy the jewelry . . . and also, sometimes I forget and leave it at the same gauge for a long time.

So, Saturday night, before bed, I tried stretching my lobes from a 2g to a 1g. I’d just bought these 1g black, handmade, glass spirals that were sooo pretty. They’re really pretty. I lubed them up and tried to slide them into the hole. Of course it was damn hard, and of course it burned. The first one was a bitch to get in. The second one went in easier. I went to bed hoping they’d feel better in the morning. The next morning the right one (the second one–the easy one) was fine and looked great. The left one was red and swollen. I left them alone until today. I noticed this morning that the left one was bleeding and seeping out pus. Shit, a blowout. The only time I had a blowout was at 14g or so, way back when. I didn’t want to lose my stretch so I just left the earring in. But by the afternoon it was unbearable. It was throbbing and had its own freaking heart beat. I had to take it out. It turns out that it wasn’t a blowout, just a tear in the skin. I tried to put the 2g back in but it wouldn’t fit. Now the hole is COMPLETELY closed up. So I have a 1g in one ear and nothing in the other. Sucks.

I’ll give it some time to heal up. I just hope that I don’t have to start at the beginning. I don’t think the 2g will fit. I can live with starting at a 4g BUT right now the hole is completely closed up. I’m not sure what to do with my right ear in the meantime. I have my 1g spiral in and I’m looking a little like a weirdo or pirate . . . or weirdo pirate, because let’s face it, there are no normal pirates. I’m hoping people don’t ask me about why I only have one big earring.

Like I said, I’ve been stretching slowly for years. Each stretch gave me a sense of satisfaction. I knew where I wanted to get to with it. I also can’t believe I’ve kept up with it all these years. But I’m a lifer, you know. Every time my life was at a stalemate, I stretched. They were like markers in my life. Whatever. I’d spent so much money on the jewelry (like titanium plugs and glass spirals) that I’d stay at one gauge for a long time just so I could get the most out of it.

Poo, poo, poo. Fuck, shit, fuck. Oh, and just because life isn’t irritating enough, I think I might be allergic to the red ink in my tattoo. But I’m not going to spazz about that until the tattoo heals and I know for sure.

On a lighter note, I totally saw Lars Frederiksen outside the Warfield after the Dropkick Murphys show Saturday. I was a total spazz pointing at his face going, “Laarrrssss!” Weird thing was, nobody else seemed to notice him. They only noticed me spazzing out. Like my boyfriend who asked, “Why are you pointing at that guy?” “Because it’s Lars Frederiksen, that’s why!” Maybe nobody cares. If I had seen that cunt Tim Armstrong I might not have cared.

I’m also REALLY lame because I didn’t go to the Black Fork/Zero Boys show at Gilman. If anything could’ve brought my 30 year-old ass to Gilman it’d been Black Fork . . . but I guess I’m just too comfortable being at home nowadays. Sigh.